So I was diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder on 3rd May 2011. And yeah... those first few weeks were the hardest. It was kind of like I was living in a bubble. I didn't tell anyone, I almost felt ashamed of it. So I'm hoping that by starting this blog, it'll give me a chance to open up to everybody and let them see into my world a bit, to understand me better. Only a few of my very close friends know about my disorder.
When the doctor first told me I just like blanked out, I didn't know what to think, it was like I was shutting down. And then I just remember being angry, really angry. I downright refused to listen to anything he'd say and refused to take any of the tests or medication he was offering. I think I thought that if I just ignored it it would go away. My older sister is also Bipolar and none of the meds worked for her when she went through this all. She went on various meds and all they did was make her worse. I guess I was scared that would happen to me too...
But after a while, still without any medication for it, I just got used to it a bit. There are still times when I feel so different and lose it with people and get into stupid argument that I shouldn't. But I'm starting to realize that talking helps.
So basically that's what this blog is for. Talking. About bipolar, about anything. Feel free to ask me questions or anything, I'm here to help.
When the doctor first told me I just like blanked out, I didn't know what to think, it was like I was shutting down. And then I just remember being angry, really angry. I downright refused to listen to anything he'd say and refused to take any of the tests or medication he was offering. I think I thought that if I just ignored it it would go away. My older sister is also Bipolar and none of the meds worked for her when she went through this all. She went on various meds and all they did was make her worse. I guess I was scared that would happen to me too...
But after a while, still without any medication for it, I just got used to it a bit. There are still times when I feel so different and lose it with people and get into stupid argument that I shouldn't. But I'm starting to realize that talking helps.
So basically that's what this blog is for. Talking. About bipolar, about anything. Feel free to ask me questions or anything, I'm here to help.
Emma, thanks for your sweet comment on my blog. I have 2 people in my family with Bipolar, so I understand how hard it is, especially at first. Hang in there! You're doing the best thing by talking about it and trying to get others talking. One of my favorite quotes is by Stephen Covey- "The psychological equivalent of air is to be understood." It's amazing how much it helps to have someone else say they "get" it. Keep expressing and offering that to others! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for having a look at my blog :) And yes, it does mean so much just to hear that someone else understands. And that's what I hope to give to others, some one that 'gets' it :)
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